From the last few horrific days.
Nothing much has changed. Still fired from the freelance mktg writing gig -- and I'm conflicted about how I feel about that. Still fighting -- although I wish I weren't. Still have no appetite for food from the firing and fighting.
BTW, when I'm in the middle of a conflict, or under emotional stress, I can't bear the thought of eating. If I'm suffering through a breakup or heartbreak, I won't be the girl on the couch who consoles herself with 7 pints of Ben & Jerry's. I'll be the one passing out in a bookstore from malnourishment. But I digress . . .
Yesterday didn't end too much better than it began. It ended with me being physically, intellectually and emotionally spent. The only saving grace was that, when I finally arrived home at the end of the LOOOOOOOOG day, I opened my door to find a very clean house. The cleaning people had been there that morning. There's nothing more exciting than coming home to a spotless house without having spent 8 hours scrubbing. It made the day so much brighter and I truly needed a bright spot.
A friend decided that the brightness shouldn't end there. My friend Risski called, and absolutely refused to allow me to wallow on my (very clean) couch. She and her boyfriend picked me up and took me to a party, where we danced for hours. We were doing our favorite things -- dancing, drinking and laughing. I SO needed that.
And honestly -- there's nothing like having a lot of male attention to pull me out of a slump, and being out with Risski is a blast, and a recipe for extreme man magnetism. Ever since college, we've been trouble together.
Now . . . let me be very clear . . . I don't let any of that attention get out of hand, but when I talk to wise, fabulous older women -- like the mother of my BFF -- I've realized that I can't let my happiness be affected by the actions of others -- whether it's work, or family or circumstances in my romantic life. I know this sounds like common sense, but I have to fall back in love with myself, and be my vibrant self at all times and live my life without a single care of what anyone else thinks, or what they're doing. And that way, no matter what, I'll always be happy. I could stand to employ a little dose of apathy. I'm going to put some serious effort into that. Starting now.
And notice, clearly I have no problems drinking when I'm upset.
A night of partying was great, but the shoes that I bought today made me feel even better still. There's nothing like a hot-ass pair of pumps to build the morale.
Labels: Life stuff
