Gina's RantSpot

I wasn't a nice person yesterday. Do you ever have those days when you know you could have been a much nicer, far more compassionate person, but decided to take the low road instead? That was yesterday.

I got an e-mail from Satan (one of my exes. I call him Satan because he is from hell). He has been sending me a series of messages asking me if I would return a certain videotape that he left in my car. Let's just say that it's home pornography, and let me be clear that I'M NOT THE STAR, CO-STAR, NOR DID I MAKE A GUEST APPEARANCE. Now that we've straightened that out . . . it was shot before we dated, and I'm familiar with is two female co-stars. I've actually written an article about this in the past, and it could be a book excerpt, although it's been so long that I don't remember. If you're interested in reading it, however, send me a message and I'll dig it out of the archives.

So . . . I ran into him at a party on the 4th of July, and I don't usually talk to him when I see him, but he made me have a conversation with him. I learned a few interesting tidbits, and then, for some reason, I decided to tell him about the tape, and how I found it several years ago. He wasn't the least embarassed, as most decent people would have been. Rather, he was excited because that tape, allegedly, has sentimental value. Whatever. Shortly after this conversation, I disappeared from the party.

About a month later, I checked my mailbox and found that he'd stopped by and written a note on one of his business cards. He was anxious to view his videotape and wanted me to call him. I opted, instead, to send him an e-mail. I applied the economy of words principle, and told him, succinctly, that I no longer had the tape. I added that it was a choice between pitching it and streaming it on the internet, and since I didn't want the karmic retribution of streaming it, I decided to throw it away. (The column this week IS all about the perils of vengeance, after all)

He wrote back and told me that "God would shine on me" if I made the right decision. I damn near doubled over in pain laughing at that one, coming from him. This is a man who has done such heinous things in his life -- and a lot of terrible things to me, specifically. I'm curious to know where God was during all of that, since he's trying to get biblical, all of a sudden.

Something about Satan's implied threat to my status in the Universe REALLY pissed me off. It made me wonder what particular brand of crack he's been smoking. So I wrote a letter. A long one. (And let me tell you . . . there are few things more scathing than a letter from a writer who loves dabbling in cynicism and biting wit.) In short I told him that I scoffed at his religious reference, reminded him of what a cock he'd been in past, indicated that he'd get everything back that he gave out. I told him that he would neither receive the tape, nor would he ever have the benefit of my friendship, and told him never to ask me for anything again. Basically, I followed my own advice from the column and removed myself from his life. Aren't y'all proud of me! :-) Even though I was already removed from his life. Apparently I had to remove myself even further!

Having typed this, I feel justified in my actions, and have just now decided that I coudn't have/ shouldn't have been nicer to him. Never mind.

Even though I also intentionally ignored a person who I don't really like. But then, why should I be phony? He doesn't like me either, so it's mutual! I feel so much better now!!

Something has possessed my body, and I'm hoping it's not food poisoning. Usually if I eat something that doesn't agree with me, it dissipates in a few hours. The thing about true food poisoning is that you keep it for over 3 weeks, and you might think you're okay until you eat something that triggers it and sends you into a nasty bout of pain. I had food poisoning for the first time about 9 years ago when I accidentally ate an undercooked turkey burger at a barbecue. I was in immediate pain, and it kind of went away by the end of the weekend. I went back to work, had salad for lunch, and thought I was going to die. I went to the doctor, who told me that, for a MONTH, I would have to stay away from intense roughage, and anything spicy -- which eliminated over 1/2 of my diet! Hot sauce is a staple for me! So, I'm hoping that this will pass without incident.

Other than that, I'm in denial that summer's almost over. Even though fall is my favorite season, I get misty when I realize that I'm going to have to pack away my shorts and sandals in favor of boots and sweaters. Although I am looking forward to crock pot meals and chili.

Has anyone else noticed the retail onslaught of Halloween items?? I went into a store the other day and it was an extravaganza of orange and black. What's THAT about?? AND, the children's costumes are more and more outrageous. There are actually pimp and ho costumes for kids. Here's the link (which you might have to cut and paste into your browser) --> http://shop.store.yahoo.com/brandsonsale-store/51104-costumes.html. I couldn't believe it myself.

So, I've come to the conclusion that everyone hates their cellular service. The only people that claim to love their service are those who use Verizon, and I refuse to get Verizon because: 1) I don't like any of their phones, and 2) When a Verizon user is on the phone, a new caller hears a weird ring-beep. I prefer that people not know I'm on the phone if they're calling me. But maybe I'm just being shady. Regardless, I won't be switching to Verizon.

The column dropped today. It's called "Vengeance," so check it out, if you're so inclined.

I'm really happy that my next door neighbors moved. I damn near did a backflip when I saw that Budget Rent a Truck sitting in front of my house and all of them loading furniture. It was fabulous.

This puts an end to, not only being irritated by the screaming of THEIR children (and, to this day, I STILL haven't figured out how many kids lived there), but I will probably no longer have to deal with the children from down the block, the playmates of my former neighbors, who are apparently being raised by wolves and have no home training.

My mother, ever the pessimist, pointed out that the people who move in might be worse. But I'm hoping for a nice quiet old person who doesn't have frequently visiting grandchildren. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Happy Monday! The weekend was fun, and kind of mellow at the same time.

Funny, though . . . at the same soiree that I blogged about on the 28th, I ran into a woman that I hadn't seen in a while. She's one of those people that I don't know extremely well or actively hang out with, but we're always happy to see each other, enjoy catching up, and threaten to go out for dinner/drinks in the future.

She told me that we had a guy in common. This always scares me, usually because I wouldn't wish most of my exes on anyone. She said the name of S., a man who I only went out with once, and would never have considered myself dating. (FYI -- There are people who think that if you go on one date with a person, you and that person were "dating." I don't consider myself to have truly "dated" someone unless there was something going on for at least a month and there was some degree of messing around. This person, S., and anyone else with whom I've had brief dalliances or "situations" don't qualify).

As I recall, it was kind of a weird scenario. He and I went on one date. I actually can't really call it a date because I went to his house to watch TV. I don't recall there being much chemistry on either of our parts. There was no kiss goodbye to my recollection. I think we were supposed to go out to dinner or lunch in that following week, but we never talked again. I don't really remember, so I guess I wasn't broken up about it.

Fast forward to this past Friday. When his ex/my friend, told me that she knew we'd hung out once, I wondered why it would be a topic of conversation. I could barely remember it, so I was surprised that he would. Then she told me that he said that I'd written a column about him. I was even more perplexed. She jarred my memory by saying that I'd written one about a disappearing man and that it was based on him.

I had to think about it, and then it clicked -- VAPORMAN! Shortly after the 'aha!' moment, I had a 'what the fuck?' moment. Vaporman was written so long ago that it's a book excerpt, and is about a person who disappears after you've embarked on a serious relationship. Not someone that you've only had one date with -- and an un-date, to boot! What was THAT about? (I've included Vaporman as an archive on my site in case anyone's curious)

I guess it was just the weekend for people thinking they've been written about. Interesting. When I have more time, I have to write about the karaoke birthday celebration for my friend J.